Why are Girls Attracted to Bad Boys? By Jessica Dines
Okay ladies, when given the choice between the rebellious, rugged Aussie, Colin Farrell, and the sweet singing, all-American, Justin Timberlake, who do you choose? In the views of most women, it would be the bad boy Colin Farrell, because as the ever-common saying goes, "Nice guys finish last." Pay attention and you might be able to get to the finish line faster.
This frustrating fact causes men to constantly question why girls are driven to jerks compared to a man who listens and gives them flowers. The majority of the time, women cannot help the attraction to these types and will rationalize and excuse the negative aspects of their man's personality. There are specific traits in bad boys that make them appealing: they are often unpredictable, sometimes uncontrollable and always challenging. The witty sarcasm, mysterious charm, or playing hard to get, although seemingly frustrating, really does work when it comes to attracting women.
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So why do women portray themselves as wanting to date kind, sensitive, and emotionally expressive men?
The contradicting attitudes and behaviors that women display towards the men they choose as dating partners have been extensively researched. One of the most thorough studies that examined mate preferences was the 1986 study conducted by Buss and Barnes. Working with a sample size of 92 married couples, they asked which of nine factors were considered most desirable in a mate. The result: the most important attribute was whether the partner was kind and considerate. In additional research conducted by Sprecher and Regan in 2002, the preferred qualities depended upon the relationship context. Physical attributes and sexual stamina were more popular for casual sexual relationships. On the other hand, people desiring more serious romantic relationships preferred qualities of warmth and kindness.
So, if one were to make a conclusion based on the research presented, women prefer to date "nice guys". However, almost all the data collected relied exclusively on self-reported preferences. Women tend to want the nice guy in an ideal situation, but reject that type when faced with a fun, slightly promiscuous male.
Listen up guys, here is your chance. There is a way for you to adopt the attractive qualities of these bad boys without being deceitful or losing your "feminine side." You need to be comfortable as you challenge women: practice your sexy, hard-to-get flirting skills and try to be a little less predictable. This does not mean waiting a week to call back after a date.
Instead, try something exciting on a date, by showing her one of your unique quirks. For example, if the slightly geeky side of you can't get enough of telescopes, don't talk about astronomical instruments, instead, show her your favorite constellation. Also, stop being submissive; try to show a slightly dominant side (avoid: "What movie do you want to see?" "I don't know, what do you want to see?"). Make decisions without being domineering.
These tactics should snag a great female, but once the relationship becomes a little deeper, show your true self so she doesn't feel everything was an act. Open up a little of your sensitive side and the relationship will stick on a more long-term basis.
